the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
According to Harvard Medical School, "In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships."
#1 - My Family
Without this crazy bunch of people I would be nothing. They are every decision, every thought and every moment in my life that can either be good or bad. They give me every emotion I could ever think of and more. They make me want to be a better me and give me the strength to try harder each day to become a better version of myself. They are there as a reminder that I am worth something in this world and wholeheartedly love me for who I am and who I am meant to be.
#2 - My Health
This year I had a bit of a scare with my health. It was something I kept to myself mostly since I am still in the "monitoring" phase. It could be nothing or it could be something and right now, as I am growing a bit older, I am thankful I have my health. I have been more in tune with my body and am making sure if something feels off, I take care of it.
Back in March, I had my annual mammogram. For us women over 40, it is an essential part of checking in on our bodies and making sure everything is ok. This time, I got a call a day after and was asked to come back to do another check since they may have seen something. I went back, went through the normal squishing and was asked to take a seat. I was the brought into the ultrasound room and after the technician was done, the doctor came in. That is when it hit me, oh no, they see something. She was very nice and commented on how calm I was. What the hell was I supposed to do, throw a fit. I can't change anything, I can just be calm and listen. I had been having pain on the right side of my breast for a while but thought it was just hormones. It was a spot, but they just wanted to monitor it since it may just be a fluid cyst and not a mass.
I had to go back six months later. Here it goes again, old righty up to its old trick again. This time is was a bit bigger and grew a new friend as well. Again, sent home with "we think it's nothing" but we will "watch" it. So for now, I have my health as far as I know. A few aches and pains and a rib that feels like it needs a new home and keeps giving me pain in my back. I also worked on my mental health this year, a lot. See #4.
#3 - My Opportunities
Sometimes you are not sure why things happen. Is it luck, it is hard work, is it being in the right place at the right time? Many of the opportunities I have gotten have been a bit of chance and a bit of my extreme need to keep doing something. That is a direct result of my anxiety, but it may just have worked for me.
I have dealt with anxiety my whole life and with that comes fear reactions. When not in check, those can be very bad. But sometimes, fear can be good. (Read book, "Fear Is My Homeboy" by Judi Holler and thank me later) The fear I am talking about is an innate need to be in the know and jump on opportunities that come up to enhance the long term goal. Again, this is a fine line between the good and bad and believe me, my fear instinct is still a work in progress.
I have had some amazing opportunities in the past year. As I am trying to build a company and brand and also change an entire industry, I found that putting myself out there has really given me a front row seat to my future. I won three industry awards this year. These were all based on my hard work, tenacity and ability to show up. Not all days were great, but I always learned a lesson and kept going. These opportunities have led to others that I know will lead to more great things.
#4 - The Power of Positivity
I have not always been a positive person and many times I slip back into my negative way of thinking. I think it comes from my New York roots and being around a lot of negativity growing up. I do not blame negative people, they act in fear and once you realize how to control fear, you are more free. I have chosen to try and flip the script on how I react to things and think through my reactions. I have learned through a lot of self reflection, therapy, some medications and writing, that getting to know what makes you tick will help you in not setting the alarm off. I can stop the clock, reset it and not have blaring alarm bells going off each time something doesn't go my way.
I look at things in a way that make me ask more questions and not be so reactive. If someone is rude, maybe something is going on in their life that is making them that way, it's not about me. If one of my kids lies to me, I ask them questions on why are they lying and it's usually about feeling shame about the real reason. I learned not to take things personally that I cannot control. I also learned that not everyone is going to like me, and that is okay too. I am not everyones cup of tea, some people don't even like tea. I am grateful for those who do believe in me and are there for me and those are the ones you need to be around and be there for.
#5 - Wealth
This one is a bit strange, even when I wrote it, I thought it was weird. I am by no mean wealthy in terms of money, so don't ask me for any. I am also not poor. By wealth I mean, I can manage my money to the degree to be comfortable, pay the bills and enjoy life. Do I have a mansion? No. I do have a nice home in Nashville where each of us have our own rooms and food to eat in the kitchen. Do I have a yacht? No. We do have a tiny little boat our neighbor gave us that we have even used yet? Do we have brand new cars? No, but we have three running, paid off vehicles that get us places. Do I have designer clothes? No, I enjoy shopping for the bargain and Marshalls is my jam.
So wealth can mean so many things and to me, it's having what you need to survive and enough for a cherry on top every once an a while. I want our kids to have experiences and not just stuff, I want them to experience fun and culture. We will be going on a cruise in a few weeks and we were quite thoughtful on the cost, budget and plan. Plan for the unexpected since things can change in an instant.
Be happy and healthy this Thanksgiving and check out this article from Harvard Health on giving thanks.
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