Motherhood is a beautiful and challenging journey, often filled with unexpected twists and turns. For me, this journey took an unexpected detour after the pandemic, as I found myself grappling with anxiety, depression, loneliness, and trust issues. These challenges pushed me to make the difficult decision to start medication to manage my mental health. Now, a year later, I find myself facing another tough choice: the decision to wean off the medication. This process has proven to be more challenging than I ever anticipated.
Chapter 1: The Struggles I Faced During the Pandemic
The pandemic brought unprecedented changes to our lives, including social isolation and uncertainty. Like many others, I had a hard time adjusting to the loneliness that accompanied lockdowns and restrictions. Trust issues also arose, leading to some poor choices that left me emotionally scarred. It was a stark contrast to the life I once knew, and it took a toll on my mental well-being. It has never been perfect but I have never felt so uncontrolled. Theee were a lot of bouts with very low, lows and suicidal thoughts at some points.
Chapter 2: Seeking Help
Recognizing the need for help is the first step towards healing. In the midst of these challenges, I reached out to a mental health professional who confirmed my diagnosis and recommended medication as part of my treatment plan. Initially, I was hesitant about taking medication. However, I had to prioritize my well-being not just for myself but for the sake of my family. It was a tough choice, but it was the right one. I did two types of talk therapy for months but found that something was still not making the mood swings, guilt and focus better. I started on Lexapro and found it centered me and gave me more focus.
Chapter 3: The Road to Recovery
Starting medication was not a magic solution, but it marked the beginning of my path to recovery. Slowly, I started to regain control of my life. I could enjoy the little moments with my family and experience the happiness that had eluded me for so long. My decision to take medication was a lifeline that allowed me to be a better mom, wife and entrepreneur.
Chapter 4: The Decision to Wean Off
After a year of therapy and medication, I reached a point where I felt ready to consider weaning off the medication. It’s a decision that shouldn’t be rushed and must always be done under the guidance of a healthcare professional. The thought of weaning off initially filled me with hope and excitement, but it didn’t take long for me to realize how challenging it would be. More challenges have faced me including peri menopause, weight gain and work. I have started a gym regiment with dance fitness classes, meditation, eating better and reducing alcohol intake. Finding more anxiety creeping in, but now I know how to recognize it.
Chapter 5: The Unexpected Challenges
Weaning off medication is a complex process, and it comes with its own set of challenges. The withdrawal symptoms, the fear of relapse, and the emotional rollercoaster were all overwhelming. It was a stark reminder that managing mental health is an ongoing journey, and there are no quick fixes.
Conclusion: A Continuing Journey
Being a mom and managing mental health is a continuous journey. It’s about making the best choices for yourself and your family at every step. Weaning off medication might be difficult, but it’s not a sign of failure. It’s a testament to the strength and resilience it takes to face mental health challenges head-on.
As I navigate this path of weaning off medication, I’ve learned to be patient with myself. The journey is not linear, and setbacks are a part of it. What’s important is that I’m taking proactive steps towards a healthier, happier life for both myself and my children. This experience reminds me that seeking help and making tough decisions as a mom is an act of love, not weakness.
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