Why over achievers can't Say No and they are always so Tired
Why am I always saying I can do something? Do you have that problem with the "No" word? Is it that we want the accolades, the recognition? Do we like just being busy all the time? Are we covering up other problems and keeping buys helps us come with deep, dark secrets?
I was always that kid what raised my hand to offer to do something, "I Can Do It!" This has carried over into my adult life and as I get older, I have a hard time letting go of this need to be useful and say "NO!" I am not even sure if I can. I am not a pushover and I know I can say it to some people like my kids when they want another snack or my husband when he wants certain things, but if I feel like it helps me learn, grow or gives me a sense of accomplishment, that word gets very difficult to say.
I do think it has a lot to do with belonging, being a part of something and mostly to do with control. I love to be in control and I also like the accolades when something turns out great. I mean who doesn't.
It is why many people want to be famous or be great at something, we inherently need attention as a human to feel like we matter.
But there are definitely some of us who need it more than others.
So, my story is not unlike many when it comes to the need to always be doing something. I am not someone who is great at relaxing or meditating or even finding time for the gym. I also feel like things like eating and going to the bathroom ruin my work time. I like to work, I like to be creative, but mostly I like the feeling of seeing my ideas come to fruition. But this need to be creative or seen, can ruin your sense of being, you make silly mistakes, you care too much about the wrong things and ultimately can also ruin your health. It is stress, it may feel like good stress since you are getting something out of it, but it is still stress and takes a toll on your body.
I am pretty sure I have been sick since November. I feel a little better and then bad again. I have been dealing with coughing, back pain, allergies and headaches. Add in there the bout with pink eye and an ear infection. I am not getting better, mostly because I do not stop to get better.
Most doctors tell you, take a break, give yourself just a few minutes a day to recharge, take a walk, meditate. I have tried all of those things and I feel even more anxiety that I am leaving something behind to focus on me and then the cycle starts all over again.
So what can you do as an anxious, over achiever. Do you just play into that and know that is who you are? Do you try and take time for yourself? I am not sure, especially as a mom, we feel like we can take time for ourselves. We are care givers and not care receivers. I do get the occasional pedicure and massage, but usually feel bad that I am missing something that needs to get done.
Oh well, as you can see from my rant, it has been a very stressful (good stress) time and I had not posted lately. I owe you all many months of blogs, but I did know I had to let something go for a bit as I took on more projects. I hope I can find the time to write more, but if I don't, That's okay!
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